Quote for a Monday... Evening?

Okay so I'm late with this one, but it's an extra special quote to compensate. This is from Kafka on the Shore and according to Aristophanes in Plato's, The Banquet.

"In ancient times people weren't simply male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female or female/female. In other words each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everyone in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half."

Week in Review

This week was a busy week, if I do say so myself. I spent Monday afternoon in Manly. I visited one of my closest friends from uni and my beautiful college. I miss it a lot and I didn't realise how much until I went back. I think what I miss the most is the freedom I have in Sydney, I feel confined living in Canberra, but more about that another day.

I managed to see everyone that matters and it was a lovely day. On Monday night I made dinner for two wonderful people and then we sat up for hours talking, debating and watching youtube videos of dancing. It was a great day.

Manly at Sunset

While I was waiting for my ferry from Circular Quay to Manly I discovered that my all time favourite photographer, Annie Leibovitz, is exhibiting her life's work at the Museum of Contemporary Art. I'm ecstatic. It's an exhibit I've wanted to see for ages. I'm going to take my best friend when she comes to Australia in December.

A Leibovitz work of Art

On Tuesday, I caught the early bus back to Canberra for my sister's formal. She's all grown up and finished school and she dressed up to celebrate. I did her hair and makeup and she looked awesome. A non-biased opinion of course. I also worked at her formal which was fun. I think that I was probably more excited about that than she was. The inspiration for this hairstyle was taken from Martha Stewart dot com. 

My sister

On Thursday I worked at a White Ribbon Foundation Luncheon hosted by Andrew O'Keefe. The man is exactly as he appears to be on television: friendly, smiling and funny. His obnoxious laugh is delightful. This advertisement for White Ribbon Day has to be the best advertisement of the year.

Be Allanah

Gretchen Ruben is well known for her book and popular, daily blog, The Happiness Project. I visit this site frequently, not because I need advice on how to be happy, I'm figuring that out by myself, but because Ruben's writing is inspirational and reminds me of the important things in life.


Ruben has Twelve Personal Commandments of happiness that she discusses both in her book and on her blog. The first one, to Be Gretchen, involves facing one's likes and dislikes, accepting them and embracing them. Now I'm all for growing, becoming a better person and changing but I, like Ruben, feel that we need to accept what's at our core in order to really grow.


So what does is mean to Be Allanah. I like learning, alone time and snuggling up on the couch to watch a good film. I also prefer watching sport from the comfort of my own home and following the rules. I'll never be the life and soul of a party and I don't like crowds, I'm also not a fan of alcohol and I don't think I ever will be. I won't ever be a teacher, as nice as the holidays might be, and I'll never get a degree in something scientific. I don't like meditation, but I do think that reflection is important, and I'm not very fashionable. I'll also probably never like camping or hugging.

Like Ruben, the acknowledgement of these dislikes does make me a little sad. It means "letting go of what I am not and acknowledging what I don't encompass", as Ruben says, and, "makes me wish I were different". A lot of the time, this desire stems from others and not from myself. The majority appear to like something, so why don't I? I'm Allanah, that's why. It's a simple answer but it's one I forget often. One I need to be reminded of because acceptance of oneself is of the utmost importance if we are to be truly happy.

The Comet

The boy saw a comet & suddenly his life had meaning. And when it went away he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought into his life. Direction, beauty, meaning. There were many who couldn'tunderstand, & sometimes he walked among them, but even in his darkest hours he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him & his world would be whole again, & his belief in God, & love, & art would be reawakened in his heart.

I like to believe that everyone of us has a comet. That comet doesn't have to come in the form of a lover. It could be a child, a hobby, music, a book or many books. You can have more than one comet. Depending on the stage of your life you find yourself in, you might even see two at the same time. That's a truly awesome experience. A world without comets would be a devastating place to live. We need them to protect us, at least slightly, from the harshness that is the world sometimes. 

Right now, my comet is events management. Working at events, learning about events and experiencing events lights a little fire inside, like all good comets should. 

They Swear

Today I worked for the White Ribbon Foundation on an event for White Ribbon Day. The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against women is an important day. I have not been directly affected by domestic violence but too many women have been. The men who make the white ribbon pledge to "never commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women" are taking the right step towards making such a thing an unacceptable social practice. Thank you to them.

Inspiration for a Monday Morning

 

"There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake. It is the human desire for love. Every person in this earth yearns to love, to be loved, to know love. Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire… love is the ‘why’ of life: why we are functioning at all, what we want to be efficient for… I am convinced it [love] is the fundamental energy of the human spirit, the fuel on which we run, the wellspring of our vitality. And grace, which is the flowing, creative activity of love itself, is what makes all goodness possible.  Love should come first; it should be the beginning of and the reason for everything."

~ from the Sacred Heart by Gerald May

Week in Review

In an attempt to record the important aspects of life I've decided that a Week in Review post is appropriate. I'll write it every Sunday morning and it'll reflect the various important events of my week.


First up, after a frustratingly long amount of time, I finally got my P plates. Yes I'm twenty. Yes I can only drive in a car by myself now. But between moving between two countries and again between two states I just haven't had the time. I'm free as a bird now and I'm ecstatic!

I looked after my very first event on Monday and Tuesday. It was a small function for sixty five people but I was the point of call for manager and client and everyone was happy with my work. The whole experience reminded me of my reason for the wanting to work in this industry - it was pure exhilaration - and I loved it. 


I watched the first installment of the last Harry Potter film on Thursday at Midnight. A one word description? Awesome.


I booked bus tickets to and from Sydney. I leave tomorrow morning and will return on Tuesday. I haven't seen Sydney for nearly three months! I can't believe I planned to visit at least once a month. I didn't realise how much my life would be consumed by work. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends.

Last night I worked on the bar for the first time. I ended up smelling like beer but it was fun. I prefer working on the floor though. I didn't really feel a part of the event. It was a Christmas party (the first of many I'm sure).

Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One

I went to see HP VII part 1 last night and it was incredible. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. I'm so glad that the producers have split it in two. It may be a money making scheme but it lets the magic I grew up with live on that little bit longer.

This isn't an image from the movie 
but who doesn't love a bit of Emma Watson dress up?

Thankful for the right to choose

I know a girl who made a comment about a girl she knows a couple of months ago that has bugged me ever since. She said, "all that one of my best friends wants to do is get married and have children... Isn't that so sad?" At the time, I didn't say anything and I wish I had, so now I will.


I spent most of my teenage years, declaring to the world (or anyone who would listen) that I would never marry. "It's not worth it", I'd say. "Why would you bother? It's too much effort". Children? Children! Are you insane? I'd dealt with enough children in the first 14 years of my life to never feel a desire to have my own. I was going to be a high flying, single career woman with an all cream apartment in the city. Yes, an all cream apartment. Anyone who didn't share this dream, in my opinion, was weak. I felt this way until December 2008, at least.

I'm not sure what changed this opinion. Maybe it was leaving school and discovering that the world was a place that no man should have to walk alone. But somewhere along the line I realised that wanting to get married and have children is a worthy desire and should not be looked down upon. My mother did it, my grandmother did it and many woman before them did it too.


Granted, it was considered "the norm" back then. Women who had the desire to have a career and remain single or unmarried were rare, if not unheard of, but many fought for the right to do so and ultimately won. It's for those women that I will be eternally grateful.


You see, these women didn't want it one way instead of the other. They wanted it both ways. They wanted the right to choose between having a career or making the home or, in some cases, both. They wanted women to be acknowledged, heard and respected on an intellectual level.


As a group, we have come very far. Yes we're not earning the same as our male counterparts yet, but I firmly believe that we will get there someday. What upsets me is when statements, such as the one my acquaintance made, throw us two steps behind. Who have we really become if we look so disdainfully on those who choose a life of child rearing instead of boardroom appointments?


I'm so thankful for the right to choose. I was pretty sure that I had chosen but I'm not any more and I'm okay with that. What's great is that if I don't want to, I don't have to and if I do, I will. I'll always have the key to both doors.

Why Harry Potter Means A Lot To Me

On Thursday, the first installment of the last film of the Harry Potter series is released. I'm beyond excited. I think a little tribute to HP himself is in order.

Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone was the first novel I ever read by myself. Mom started reading it to me when I  turned eleven but I couldn't resist the story and read beyond what she did every night. I loved it so much that I didn't mind having it repeated the next day.

I was captured by the magic of it all and each year, as another book was released, I eagerly awaited a weekend spent in bed, devouring the latest copy of the Harry Potter Series. 

I, literally, grew up with Harry Potter. I was eleven when he was eleven, I was sixteen when he was sixteen. Apart from the fact that an evil wizard didn't want me dead, my life and Harry's life were very similar. I dealt with my own "Draco Malfoys" at school, lost people I loved in horrible accidents, experienced a fair few crushes and had piles and piles of homework to get through. I laughed with Harry, cried with Harry, celebrated and worried with Harry.

I think that that's what made Harry Potter so magical.(Beyond the actual magic that is.) I and other readers were able to identify on an emotional level with Harry and his best friends, Ron and Hermione. That's what made the books so special, so captivating.

I had a friend who used to call me Hermione after Harry's best friend, Hermione Granger. I suppose if I was like any particular character in the books, it would have to be Hermione Granger. A goody-two-shoes, know it all with a penchant for big, furry cats who is beyond loyal to her friends? That would be me.

The Harry Potter Series is timeless. One that I hope my children and their children have the opportunity to experience. This year I'm not able to see the first screening of the film as I usually do with my sisters (grown up life tends to prevent that sort of thing) but the child in me will be at the cinema as soon as possible.

Inspiration for Monday Morning

"No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world"

~ John Keating, Dead Poets Society

What I did this weekend

I edited my blog. It took a lot of fiddling but finally I figured out how to create a better header, add tabs, make my links stand out and re-align my web page.

The images I used for my header are all taken from the fabulous website, We Heart It. When I get around to taking some photographs of my own I might recreate the header.

I've added a home tab, about tab and a contact tab. Each one is fairly self explanatory. The twenty things tab is just a list of twenty things that make me, well, me.

It took a long time but I did it all by myself and I'm proud of it. It's not the fanciest look in the world but it's simple and pretty which is all I wanted.

Tonight I'm going to curl up on the couch with some tea and an episode of madmen followed by a skype date with my best friend. It's the perfect weather for it I think.

Where I Eat, Pray and Love

In this Oprah Show interview, the men from the movie discuss where they eat, pray and love. At the end of the interview James Franco, who plays David, says that his eat, pray and love is all in one spot, he "didn't have to travel the world". I think this is important to remember. Sometimes what we need is right in front of us all a long.


On that note I decided to think about my own eat, pray and love.

• Eat

My favourite dish would have to be a salmon, spinach, chickpea and mango salad. This is slightly ironic considering that I eat a mostly vegetarian diet but that's definitely my favourite eat at the moment.

• Pray

I'm Catholic so the most obvious place that I pray would have to be the church. However,  I feel my closest to God when I'm by the ocean. There's something about it's majesty that makes me believe in the ability of something greater than myself.

• Love

I feel my greatest love when I sit around the dining room table for a meal with my family. Stories, jokes and reminiscences make it the best part of my day.

Eat. Pray. Love. A Review.

I've said it before but I'll say it again, this was not a book I wanted to read. I was put off by Elizabeth Gilbert's self righteous manner on the Oprah Show and I vowed never to fall prey to her book like so many others. But with the release of Eat Pray Love, the film, I considered reading it to base my opinion on something more substantial than an Oprah interview.


There is no question that I loved reading about Italy. I too am in love with a European nation and, while the apple of my eye is France, I could identify with the longing to immerse oneself in another culture. Italy was an easy read but as Paula Joye correctly points out it's when she says stuff like, "I can make friends with anybody. I can make friends with the dead. . . . If there isn’t anyone else around to talk to, I could probably make friends with a four-foot-tall pile of Sheetrock" that I want to hit her.


India was the most difficult to get through. I'm not one for the whole, "I've lost myself so I'm gonna find myself in India" pa lava but, like I said, I persevered. The one thing that she wrote that did stand out for me was this: 

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction…I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I’m going to to view unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can’t rise  to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I’m feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of my voice in which I speak to others.

And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.

This last concept is a radically new idea for me. Richard from Texas brought it to my attention recently when I was complaining about my inability to stop brooding. He said, ‘Groceries, you need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear everyday. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can’t learn to master your thinking, you’re in deep trouble forever.”

On first glance, this seems a nearly impossible task. Control your thoughts? Instead of the other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feeling are not occurring. What Richard is talking about is instead admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they come from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude – dismissing them. 

So I’ve started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.” [p. 177-179]

I definitely struggle with "harboring unhealthy thoughts" and this observation about admitting to and acknowledging these thoughts and dismissing them struck me as so obvious an idea that I can't believe I missed it. 


That's the only piece of wisdom of Gilbert's that I can draw from the book. The other two come from characters within her book. Her guru teaches that, "...Happiness is a consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it. You have to participate in the manifestations of your own blessings and once you have achieved a state of happiness you must never become lax about it. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to it's good attainments".


I'm a firm believer of creating our own happiness through our words, actions and thoughts. I think that remaining grateful for what we are given in life is imperative to sustaining our happiness and that time is the best healer in a crisis.


Bali was also better than India to an extent. One of the things that put me off Elizabeth Gilbert was her ability to fall so happily in love with another man after destroying the life of another man. I know this opinion won't make me particularly popular but I have to wonder what her ex-husband thinks of the way she "made peace with him" during a meditation where their "souls met and accepted one another". I don't like that she made so many promises to him before they were married and broke them.


Maybe I just need to live a little longer to truly understand this book. I've never been married and I can't begin to contemplate the inner workings of my parent's marriage let alone the marriage of a person I've never met. 


I think the important message to draw from Eat Pray Love is that of hope and sustaining that hope no matter what the odds. Ketut, a Balinese medicine man in the book, puts it perfectly when he says that for everyone it is the "same in the end, so better to be happy on the journey".


If it's not clear by now this book wasn't one of my favourites and I'm far more inclined to read her next book, Committed, which is an in depth look into marriage. At the end of the day, however, I'm glad I finally read it.  

Ten Day Cycle Revisited

So ten days came and went fast. Faster than I had expected it to to be honest so that's why my reflection on it comes a week late. Let's see how I went.
1. Blog every day for the next ten days. 

I did it! In fact, I didn't blog for the last two days and I really missed it. At this stage, when I'm unable to draw or play my piano due to a severe lack of time, writing is the best form of creative expression for me and I love it.

2. Finish reading Eat, Pray, Love

I did it! I persevered and finally finished on day ten. Expect a review in my next post.

3. Stop picking my nails

I did it! The industry I'm working in at the moment really isn't conducive to beautifully manicured paws but I've tried my best to work with what I have. Clear nail polish and lots of hand cream anyone?

4. Avoid artificial sugar for ten days. 

Ok, I admit it, I gave up one this one on day one but it will be put towards my next cycle. These articles from Urban Remedy have reminded me of the importance of trying to cut down on the old sugar devil.

5. Stretch

Stretch after my runs. 

I did it! Sort of. I think I forgot to stretch on one occasion. I get distracted as soon as I walk into the house so I'm going to try and make an effort to stretch in the garden or at park at the end of my runs rather than inside.

6. Get to bed at a decent hour

The latest I got into bed on the nights that I wasn't at work was 10.30pm which I'm happy with. In hindsight 10pm was a little unrealistic.

7. Develop a better morning routine

Fail. I made no effort towards this goal. I didn't plan what I was going to do and I all but forgot that I had even made it a goal in the first place. I'll try to make more of an effort towards this goal in my next 10 day cycle.

8. Stay in touch

Make contact with those people I've lost along the way.

I reached out to two friends that I hadn't spoken to in a while. It was great to hear what was happening in their lives and to share what is happening in mine. Relationships strengthen the soul.

9. Watch Mad Men and love it

Love it I did. Love it I do. The men in this show are awful but perfect given the time that is portrayed. Thank goodness for the women who stood up for themselves and made the opportunities in my life possible.

10. Bake that cake

That cake did not get baked. I worked every day during this cycle apart from last Sunday when I... slept. I still want to make it though. Tomorrow is a possibility.

So all in all I accomplished quite a bit during my ten day cycle. The concept is a great one. It forces us to set little goals for ourselves all of which contribute to our beings as a whole. I plan to make a few adjustments to the layout of my next cycle but I'll discuss those when I write that post. Thank you to Laura Valerie for introducing me to the idea.

I loved school

A person I worked with was shocked when I mentioned that I loved my school days the other day. His response was, "you need to see someone", which could only mean that he thought I was a little crazy.


But I did. I loved learning, I loved my teachers, I loved my uniform. I loved the fact that I got to see my best friend every day without fail. Heck, I'll even admit that I loved doing homework. I was very involved in the school as a whole which made it easy to enjoy my days there.


It's been two years since I completed my schooling and I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't re-live my school days. They happened and, at this point in my life, they form some of my best memories but when I finished, I was ready to finish. Life was waiting for me and I was ready to live it.


I cried when I left. I cried a lot. Not because I thought the world was coming to an end because I was leaving but because leaving school went hand in hand with leaving the country I grew up in. Not only would I not be seeing my best friend every day but the chances of seeing her even once a year were slim. That's what made me cry.

Everything, while it didn't seem that way at the time, was simpler then. The single sex, Catholic school I attended protected me from reality in a way I didn't realise until I had to live outside it's walls. I won't deny that reality is great. I'm free to do what I like, when I like with the people I like. But reality can be tough too and that's exactly what my last two years of reality have been: tough but great.


Sometimes my "inner voice", if you will, manages to convince me that I've accomplished very little within these last two years. It's mean and makes me feel fairly inadequate but when I pull myself out of that type of reflection I realise that I've done a lot.


I've moved eleven thousand kilometers across the world, settled down in a different country, been an pair, learnt to cook, figured out what I want to study (even though I'm constantly second guessing myself about that one), earned my own money and learnt to drive. I've accomplished plenty and I need to remember that in order to avoid slipping into a sour mindset.


In her farewell speech to the school, my best friend made a comment that I need to remind myself of on a regular basis, "Now is the time for us to shine, the time when our dreams  are in reach and possibilities vast. Now is the time for all of us to become the people we always dreamed of being. This is your world. You're here. You matter..."

The Invitation

Written by Oriah, this poem is so beautiful and perfect considering that I contributed to the first day of somebody's marriage.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know  if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day.

And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

My First Wedding

I've only been to one wedding in the last twenty years of my life. It was my aunt's and I was the flower girl. I remember walking down the aisle next to my cousin and getting into the bridal but that's pretty much it.


Last night I worked at my very first wedding. I was put on the children's table and spent my night running around after the flower girls and page boy. The rest of the team saw to their jobs and as a whole we came together to put on an amazing wedding for the couple.


At the end of the night the bride was quoted as saying, "nobody get's to say that their wedding day was perfect but mine was." The maid of honor wrote a thank you letter to the staff and the groom told my supervisor that the night was a ten out of ten thanks to us. I get the feeling we did a really good job.


And so we should have. When I thought about what were doing, really thought about it, we were doing more than working another event. It was somebody's wedding. Somebody's memory, iconic life experience and emotions we were dealing with. We needed to aim for more than perfection and we did.


In terms of a wedding reception it was a fairly cookie-cutter affair as they say. Traditional white ball gown, two tier cake, matching bride's maids dresses and all.I got to see the "stress" they speak of when referring to weddings in the half an hour leading up to the arrival of the guests as the bride paced anxiously up and down the room.

I've never really thought about my own wedding. I try not too. But what I hope that it is an intimate affair, I hope that I calm and more focussed on the purpose of the day than the day itself and I hope that all those that I love are able to be there to witness my love made sacred. (There'll also be a flautist performing Pachelbel's Canon in D during the bridal march but that's the only detail I know for sure.)