Be Allanah

Gretchen Ruben is well known for her book and popular, daily blog, The Happiness Project. I visit this site frequently, not because I need advice on how to be happy, I'm figuring that out by myself, but because Ruben's writing is inspirational and reminds me of the important things in life.


Ruben has Twelve Personal Commandments of happiness that she discusses both in her book and on her blog. The first one, to Be Gretchen, involves facing one's likes and dislikes, accepting them and embracing them. Now I'm all for growing, becoming a better person and changing but I, like Ruben, feel that we need to accept what's at our core in order to really grow.


So what does is mean to Be Allanah. I like learning, alone time and snuggling up on the couch to watch a good film. I also prefer watching sport from the comfort of my own home and following the rules. I'll never be the life and soul of a party and I don't like crowds, I'm also not a fan of alcohol and I don't think I ever will be. I won't ever be a teacher, as nice as the holidays might be, and I'll never get a degree in something scientific. I don't like meditation, but I do think that reflection is important, and I'm not very fashionable. I'll also probably never like camping or hugging.

Like Ruben, the acknowledgement of these dislikes does make me a little sad. It means "letting go of what I am not and acknowledging what I don't encompass", as Ruben says, and, "makes me wish I were different". A lot of the time, this desire stems from others and not from myself. The majority appear to like something, so why don't I? I'm Allanah, that's why. It's a simple answer but it's one I forget often. One I need to be reminded of because acceptance of oneself is of the utmost importance if we are to be truly happy.

The Comet

The boy saw a comet & suddenly his life had meaning. And when it went away he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought into his life. Direction, beauty, meaning. There were many who couldn'tunderstand, & sometimes he walked among them, but even in his darkest hours he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him & his world would be whole again, & his belief in God, & love, & art would be reawakened in his heart.

I like to believe that everyone of us has a comet. That comet doesn't have to come in the form of a lover. It could be a child, a hobby, music, a book or many books. You can have more than one comet. Depending on the stage of your life you find yourself in, you might even see two at the same time. That's a truly awesome experience. A world without comets would be a devastating place to live. We need them to protect us, at least slightly, from the harshness that is the world sometimes. 

Right now, my comet is events management. Working at events, learning about events and experiencing events lights a little fire inside, like all good comets should. 

Thankful for the right to choose

I know a girl who made a comment about a girl she knows a couple of months ago that has bugged me ever since. She said, "all that one of my best friends wants to do is get married and have children... Isn't that so sad?" At the time, I didn't say anything and I wish I had, so now I will.


I spent most of my teenage years, declaring to the world (or anyone who would listen) that I would never marry. "It's not worth it", I'd say. "Why would you bother? It's too much effort". Children? Children! Are you insane? I'd dealt with enough children in the first 14 years of my life to never feel a desire to have my own. I was going to be a high flying, single career woman with an all cream apartment in the city. Yes, an all cream apartment. Anyone who didn't share this dream, in my opinion, was weak. I felt this way until December 2008, at least.

I'm not sure what changed this opinion. Maybe it was leaving school and discovering that the world was a place that no man should have to walk alone. But somewhere along the line I realised that wanting to get married and have children is a worthy desire and should not be looked down upon. My mother did it, my grandmother did it and many woman before them did it too.


Granted, it was considered "the norm" back then. Women who had the desire to have a career and remain single or unmarried were rare, if not unheard of, but many fought for the right to do so and ultimately won. It's for those women that I will be eternally grateful.


You see, these women didn't want it one way instead of the other. They wanted it both ways. They wanted the right to choose between having a career or making the home or, in some cases, both. They wanted women to be acknowledged, heard and respected on an intellectual level.


As a group, we have come very far. Yes we're not earning the same as our male counterparts yet, but I firmly believe that we will get there someday. What upsets me is when statements, such as the one my acquaintance made, throw us two steps behind. Who have we really become if we look so disdainfully on those who choose a life of child rearing instead of boardroom appointments?


I'm so thankful for the right to choose. I was pretty sure that I had chosen but I'm not any more and I'm okay with that. What's great is that if I don't want to, I don't have to and if I do, I will. I'll always have the key to both doors.

Where I Eat, Pray and Love

In this Oprah Show interview, the men from the movie discuss where they eat, pray and love. At the end of the interview James Franco, who plays David, says that his eat, pray and love is all in one spot, he "didn't have to travel the world". I think this is important to remember. Sometimes what we need is right in front of us all a long.


On that note I decided to think about my own eat, pray and love.

• Eat

My favourite dish would have to be a salmon, spinach, chickpea and mango salad. This is slightly ironic considering that I eat a mostly vegetarian diet but that's definitely my favourite eat at the moment.

• Pray

I'm Catholic so the most obvious place that I pray would have to be the church. However,  I feel my closest to God when I'm by the ocean. There's something about it's majesty that makes me believe in the ability of something greater than myself.

• Love

I feel my greatest love when I sit around the dining room table for a meal with my family. Stories, jokes and reminiscences make it the best part of my day.

River Deep, Mountain High

I am a gleek. Wednesday night comes, I sit on the couch and I smile for a full hour. The combination of music, quick wit and interesting characters makes me, well, happy. Tonight was no exception.

(A duet by Santana and Mercedes. Amazing)

For your information

This week I have been working on an event for an Australian women’s network. This year is their fiftieth anniversary and they are celebrating by visiting the nation’s capital. A number of women spoke at yesterday’s opening luncheon including Pru Goward. Naturally I didn’t get to listen to many of their speeches because I was working but I did get to listen to Pru’s and, while she said many notable things, when she said, “we can never underestimate the power of informed conversation”, I was struck to remember that.

I’ve always been interested in current affairs. I think this stems from having a mother that didn’t “protect me from the daily news” and wanted me to know what was happening in the world. I remember being seven years old and discussing the 2004 Olympic bid in depth with her.

That isn’t my first memory of acknowledging the world around me. In 1995, when South Africa played New Zealand in the Rugby World Cup, I was struck by the affect that one game had on, not only those I loved, but the general public in which I found myself.

Ignorant people have always annoyed me. In my opinion, there is no excuse for not knowing about the BP Oil Spill off the Gulf of Mexico or the floods in Pakistan or, more close to home, the politics surrounding Gillard and Abbott amongst others.

I may write this from an incredibly privileged point of view. I live in a first world country, I am studying at a tertiary level of education and I have unlimited access to media via computers, magazines and newspapers so, for the purposes of this post, I am not referring to those less fortunate than myself but rather those with which I surround myself.

There is, however, one thing that is worse than conversing with a person who has no clue what you are talking about due to pure lack of interest in the world around them. There are those people who haven’t taken the time to find out the truth and develop a substantial opinion based on fact as opposed to superficial assumptions of a certain affair. Those who feel Julia Gillard should be Prime Minister “because she is a woman” or those who look at a picture of an African man dressed in a suit and call him Robert Mugabe or Nelson Mandela because those are the only names they know.

Robin Morgan wrote that knowledge and information is power. This holds true. It makes for far more interesting people, creates more interesting conversations and fosters more interesting relationships.