Eat. Pray. Love. A Review.

I've said it before but I'll say it again, this was not a book I wanted to read. I was put off by Elizabeth Gilbert's self righteous manner on the Oprah Show and I vowed never to fall prey to her book like so many others. But with the release of Eat Pray Love, the film, I considered reading it to base my opinion on something more substantial than an Oprah interview.


There is no question that I loved reading about Italy. I too am in love with a European nation and, while the apple of my eye is France, I could identify with the longing to immerse oneself in another culture. Italy was an easy read but as Paula Joye correctly points out it's when she says stuff like, "I can make friends with anybody. I can make friends with the dead. . . . If there isn’t anyone else around to talk to, I could probably make friends with a four-foot-tall pile of Sheetrock" that I want to hit her.


India was the most difficult to get through. I'm not one for the whole, "I've lost myself so I'm gonna find myself in India" pa lava but, like I said, I persevered. The one thing that she wrote that did stand out for me was this: 

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction…I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I’m going to to view unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can’t rise  to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I’m feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of my voice in which I speak to others.

And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.

This last concept is a radically new idea for me. Richard from Texas brought it to my attention recently when I was complaining about my inability to stop brooding. He said, ‘Groceries, you need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear everyday. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can’t learn to master your thinking, you’re in deep trouble forever.”

On first glance, this seems a nearly impossible task. Control your thoughts? Instead of the other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feeling are not occurring. What Richard is talking about is instead admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they come from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude – dismissing them. 

So I’ve started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.” [p. 177-179]

I definitely struggle with "harboring unhealthy thoughts" and this observation about admitting to and acknowledging these thoughts and dismissing them struck me as so obvious an idea that I can't believe I missed it. 


That's the only piece of wisdom of Gilbert's that I can draw from the book. The other two come from characters within her book. Her guru teaches that, "...Happiness is a consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it. You have to participate in the manifestations of your own blessings and once you have achieved a state of happiness you must never become lax about it. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to it's good attainments".


I'm a firm believer of creating our own happiness through our words, actions and thoughts. I think that remaining grateful for what we are given in life is imperative to sustaining our happiness and that time is the best healer in a crisis.


Bali was also better than India to an extent. One of the things that put me off Elizabeth Gilbert was her ability to fall so happily in love with another man after destroying the life of another man. I know this opinion won't make me particularly popular but I have to wonder what her ex-husband thinks of the way she "made peace with him" during a meditation where their "souls met and accepted one another". I don't like that she made so many promises to him before they were married and broke them.


Maybe I just need to live a little longer to truly understand this book. I've never been married and I can't begin to contemplate the inner workings of my parent's marriage let alone the marriage of a person I've never met. 


I think the important message to draw from Eat Pray Love is that of hope and sustaining that hope no matter what the odds. Ketut, a Balinese medicine man in the book, puts it perfectly when he says that for everyone it is the "same in the end, so better to be happy on the journey".


If it's not clear by now this book wasn't one of my favourites and I'm far more inclined to read her next book, Committed, which is an in depth look into marriage. At the end of the day, however, I'm glad I finally read it.